Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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