Your mouth is God's brothel.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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