why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
