Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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