Pappa wants mamma naked
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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