I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
