idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
