I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
