So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
