I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
