He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The best revenge is premature balding
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize