i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i used baking grease as lip gloss
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
This baby is an asshole
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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