I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
