so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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