dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
