i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
