so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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