he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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