i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Mom said you looked used
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
