I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
