even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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