Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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