sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
