Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
