Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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