dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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