Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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