So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
