Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
