yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
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