He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
