TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
