i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
