So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize