Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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