I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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