I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
