return my video game
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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