I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
