with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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