Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
