I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
