Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
