listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
