this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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