i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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