we have officially lost it.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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