FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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