when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
