You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
