I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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