The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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