It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize