More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
