What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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