Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
