I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
