Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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