he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
