I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
His hands were made for my vagina.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize