Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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