i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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