brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
its liver damage thursday
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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