we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
