i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
