I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
