True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
