I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
