We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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