My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
