I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
