And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
