I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Enjoy the penises
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
